sweet sacrifice

[brighty]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:350px; border-right:50px solid #ac8bcc;][style=float:left; border:8px solid #ac8bcc; margin:3px; opacity:0.8;][/style][style=text-align:justify; padding:5px; color:#000; font-family:arial; font-size:11px;] He didn't like the hallways. It was always loud there, with too many people crowding together. But, he had to go through them, because that was what good students, good people, did. They went through the crowded hallways and they went to class and got good grades. So, that was what he did. He wanted to be good, so he did one of the many things he really did not want to do. Though, honestly, there were very few things the boy wanted to do - though he was trying his best to get better. So, when he wanted to go to his room and curl up with his teddy bear, or perhaps go to the park and sit on the swings, he was in the hallway. Thankfully, it was after classes. He stayed in his last class long enough for the hallways to clear up a bit, so that it wasn't as terrifying as it was throughout the day. There were so many strange males here. It was an all boys school, so that was a given, but it was so very scary. Having all those males around him petrified him - it was a wonder the boy hadn't suffered a heart attack yet. Today he wasn't going to see his father - the man had to grade papers or work on his book - so he was going to go back to his room to struggle through the work his teachers had assigned. Usually he had extra lessons, but not today. Today he could do as he pleased - which meant nothing. Naoya never did anything for himself. Everything was for others, always. His father wanted him to go to school here, so he did. His teachers wanted him to do the homework, so it was done. The administrative staff wanted him to stay in his dorm with Marco, so he did. Nothing was ever done for himself. Not even his suicide attempts were for himself. He was trying to be less of a burden to others; very few wanted to deal with him for very long because of his oddities, and so why should he make them? Then again, perhaps one could say he was slightly selfish, though, because he did desperately want to join his brother in death, wherever that might be. He never did speak, though many bid him to - that could be considered something to be done for himself as well. He didn't want to be punished, and the fear of punishment far outweighed his need to please others. Punishment hurt, punishment was bad, and he didn't want it. He didn't. So he didn't speak - because clearly it was a trap, their wanting him to speak. The moment a word passed his lips, he would be punished. He wasn't supposed to speak. He was nothing, worthless, not worth the effort of listening to. words, 486 tags, lucian/reit notes, i'm an awful, awful person. how dare you encourage me. [/style][style=margin-top:2px; font-family:georgia; font-size:25px; color:#ac8bcc; text-transform:lowercase; text-shadow:-1px 0 #333, 0 1px #333, 1px 0 #333, 0 -1px #333; text-align:center;]you know you live to break me[/style]

[style=font-size:10px; font-family:ms gothic;]made by RIVER! of BV, CTL and OTE[/style]

[reit2]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background: url(http://i.imgur.com/PK9zK.png); padding: 5px; width: 400px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; float: left; border: 3px 690202 double;][/style]

[atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; lmargin-left: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 0px;]When darkness comes[/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; color: 690202; font-family: georgia; font-size: 10px; padding: 5px; width: 284px; margin-left: 1px; text-align: justify; margin-top: 3px;border: 3px 690202 double;]Sometimes - just sometimes - Lucien liked to have projects. He needed things to distract him. Some people were better project then others. Some people were almost predisposed to be victims, and Lucien had managed to work out who would, and who wouldn't be likely to rat him out. Some would almost always tell, even if it was only whispers to friends. Some, though, would never tell. Some would take the secrets they held to the grave, and nothing you could say would make them give up those secrets. Those were the sort of people Lucien sought out when he was bored. Being the secretary had the wonderful bonus of giving him access to student files. So he'd read through a batch, and lucky him - he'd found one. The file was vague, only the sort of things you'd be telling a school nurse, but it was more then enough. He wasn't stupid, though - he'd have to scout it out, to test the waters. Smiling like the devil all the while. A concerned member of the staff, and nothing more. That was Lucien Margaux at the moment. He found the boy before long - a little mop of purple hair, so short it was easy to lose him in the crowd. Lucien was average - But Naoya Uchida was so damn small he made Lucien look like a giant. The first test was easy - casual even - as he slid through the thinning crowd, settling a hand on Naoya's shoulder. "Naoya Uchida?" His voice was soft - and quite obviously french. [/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; letter-spacing:0px; margin-left: 1px; margin-top: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold;]You know I'm not far[/style]

[brighty]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:350px; border-right:50px solid #ac8bcc;][style=float:left; border:8px solid #ac8bcc; margin:3px; opacity:0.8;][/style][style=text-align:justify; padding:5px; color:#000; font-family:arial; font-size:11px;] He didn't see the man coming up behind him, and he definitely didn't hear him. While he'd waited for the majority of the students to file out, he could only wait for so long. There were still boys lingering, talking to each other or walking along to go to places unknown. Naoya didn't pay them much mind, except to stay out of their way so that there was no chance of them touching. He didn't like touching - touching led to other things, things that Naoya didn't want to dwell on even as they colored everything in his world. Casual words were searched for deeper meanings, light touches were expected to turn into beatings or sex, and heaven forbid he get stuck alone in a room with an older male. When the hand touched his shoulder, the reaction was literally instantaneous. His whole body tensed up to the point where he was trembling slightly and he shrunk in on himself - habit had him expecting that he was about to be pushed to the floor or slammed up against a wall, or something else as equally violent. Even after two years out of that place, he still had the deep, ingrained fear and belief that these things were true. He had been told by multiple people that when this fear erupted in him, he had to relax and calm down, take deep breaths, but honestly he couldn't do that. He was so very terrified. His eyes wide and his breathing shallow, he looked up towards the much, much taller male when his name was spoken. Even if Naoya knew who or what the French were, he wouldn't really care. As such, he had no idea why his words sounded odd, but honestly it had no bearing on him as far as he could tell. Plenty of people he'd heard here and... elsewhere... had funny sounding words, but it was like having blue eyes or brown hair. It was just something people had as far as Naoya could tell. He didn't know it was from where people grew up. Cautiously - so very cautiously! - the small boy nodded a little; yes, he was Naoya. What did this man want? Of course, the first thought - always the first thought - was sex. That had been the answer to everything for years, and it was hard to break the habit. But he shoved it away - no, that was wrong, bad, he wasn't supposed to do that anymore. His Father had said so. What else was there? Did he do something bad? Was he in trouble? No doubt, he was probably in trouble. That was why the man was touching his shoulder - he was getting ready to punish Naoya. words, 467 tags, lucian/reit notes, i'm an awful, awful person. how dare you encourage me. [/style][style=margin-top:2px; font-family:georgia; font-size:25px; color:#ac8bcc; text-transform:lowercase; text-shadow:-1px 0 #333, 0 1px #333, 1px 0 #333, 0 -1px #333; text-align:center;]you know you live to break me[/style]

[style=font-size:10px; font-family:ms gothic;]made by RIVER! of BV, CTL and OTE[/style]

[reit2]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background: url(http://i.imgur.com/PK9zK.png); padding: 5px; width: 400px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; float: left; border: 3px 690202 double;][/style]

[atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; lmargin-left: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 0px;]When darkness comes[/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; color: 690202; font-family: georgia; font-size: 10px; padding: 5px; width: 284px; margin-left: 1px; text-align: justify; margin-top: 3px;border: 3px 690202 double;]Lucien liked his little tests - liked trying things to see how people reacted. You could learn a lot from harmless gestures. No one would fault a member of the staff for a light shoulder touch like that. It was the sort of casual gesture that would mean nothing to most, and everything to others. It told him how people reacted to being touched unexpectedly, and Naoya hardly disappointed. The boys reaction was extreme - the way he trembled, the way he cowered. That was what it was. It was the sort of reaction you got from a person who was expecting violence with every touch. The little nod confirmed what he already knew - the identity of the boy - and he returned it with a little smile of his own. No need to be threatening - he had to be a wolf in sheep's clothing for the maximum impact. "No need to be alarmed, your not in trouble." It was a casual guess. Most students would assume that they were in trouble being approached by staff. "My name is Lucien Margaux - I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing." He was simply concerned - and that was commendable in his case. Making sure a vulnerable student was alright was almost always a good thing, correct? "How are your classes?" He was curious how the boy communicated - if he did at all. Did he write things out? Did he sign? If the latter, it would be hellish, since Lucien didn't know a word. [/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; letter-spacing:0px; margin-left: 1px; margin-top: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold;]You know I'm not far[/style]

[brighty]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:350px; border-right:50px solid #ac8bcc;][style=float:left; border:8px solid #ac8bcc; margin:3px; opacity:0.8;][/style][style=text-align:justify; padding:5px; color:#000; font-family:arial; font-size:11px;]Where Lucien liked tests like this, Naoya absolutely hated them. Being touched, even casually without meaning to, frightened him. He was trying to get better about it - not that he had much of a choice, being forced to walk these halls every day - but this had been a purposeful touch, one that brought back terrible memories of pain and fear. He wondered if the man did it on purpose. But he couldn't have. He didn't know this person, so the man didn't know. Right? But he might. His father might have told him, or some one else who knows, or any number of ways. Naoya was not above believing people could read his thoughts, so even that crossed his mind. But if the man knew his past, he wouldn't have done that, right? His father said it was going to be okay here. But what if this person knew he was bad? His father didn't seem to notice it, but perhaps this man had and understood he should be punished - even if it was in minor ways. Maybe that was it. But, those thoughts were dashed when the man said he wasn't in trouble. So he didn't know either. No one here seemed to understand - but they would, given time. Everyone did. That was why so many people left him - the foster families didn't keep him long and his father had abandoned him long ago. His father seemed to be more blind than he had been years previously, when he never came back and left his twins to their fate, but he'd see the truth again eventually. Naoya dreaded that day, when he'd have to move again. The man continued, and he appeared to be one of those people. Similar to the ones who took him from his mother and Daichi and gave him the new name, he wanted to make sure he was okay. Of course he wasn't okay. He was terrified and he just wanted to go hide under his bed with his teddy bear and never come back - or even better, just disappear and not be a bother anymore. But those weren't options. He had to do as his father wished, and so he went to class and did the homework. The man continued, asking about his classes. They were fine, as far as he knew. He still struggled with everything - he took notes as quickly as he could, but there were so many words he didn't know and even more things that he didn't understand that it really wasn't helpful in the least. The extra lessons appeared to be helping more, though. But he couldn't express that, not aloud in any case. He couldn't ignore the man either, though. No, instead, he carefully pulled the backpack off of his shoulders - so very cautiously moving out from underneath that hand, afraid the man would be angry for it - and pulled out a notebook filled with paper and after a moment of searcing, a pencil. The bag then placed on the ground, the boy flipped hurriedly to a clean page - he didn't want to make the man upset by taking too long! - he carefully wrote his response out, making sure each character looked perfect. "They are okay, thank you." He barely remembered to write the 'thank you' - for so long he didn't need manners, because he didn't speak, and it was something he had to work at remembering. Then, he offered the notebook to the taller male, so he could see. words, 598 tags, lucian/reit notes, i'm an awful, awful person. how dare you encourage me. [/style][style=margin-top:2px; font-family:georgia; font-size:25px; color:#ac8bcc; text-transform:lowercase; text-shadow:-1px 0 #333, 0 1px #333, 1px 0 #333, 0 -1px #333; text-align:center;]you know you live to break me[/style]

[style=font-size:10px; font-family:ms gothic;]made by RIVER! of BV, CTL and OTE[/style]

[reit2]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background: url(http://i.imgur.com/PK9zK.png); padding: 5px; width: 400px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; float: left; border: 3px 690202 double;][/style]

[atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; lmargin-left: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 0px;]When darkness comes[/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; color: 690202; font-family: georgia; font-size: 10px; padding: 5px; width: 284px; margin-left: 1px; text-align: justify; margin-top: 3px;border: 3px 690202 double;]No matter what Naoya's father had told him, things were not always all right. There were monsters in the closet, shoved away by the general public and ignored. If they pretended bad things didn't happen, then they could keep on living their lives. As long as the darkness kept to the dark, people rarely questioned it. It was why organized crime generally kept to itself - preying on the underworld rather then snatching victims from unlocked houses. Why bother looking for unwilling victims when there were so many vulnerable people that no one would care about? Of course, that was no guarantee of protection. Not by a long shot. Every so often the darkness did reach out, snatching away the safety of those who should have been protected. Naoya was one of those poor people. Lucien's thoughts on signing were quickly replaced. If the boy was going to sign, he'd be signing already. Instead, with the sort of practiced slowness that Lucien recognized, the sort you did when someone had a gun pulled on you - when you were trying to not be threatening. Making a concentrated effort. The words were written the same way, and then displayed for him to read. "Ahh, so your classes are alright, then. How's your roommate? Your extra help? I do hope you've been getting extra lessons, Naoya." The boy was quite far behind, after all. [/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; letter-spacing:0px; margin-left: 1px; margin-top: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold;]You know I'm not far[/style]

[brighty]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:350px; border-right:50px solid #ac8bcc;][style=float:left; border:8px solid #ac8bcc; margin:3px; opacity:0.8;][/style][style=text-align:justify; padding:5px; color:#000; font-family:arial; font-size:11px;]Naoya knew about monsters, even if he didn't consider them as such. Being a captive of the darker side of humanity, it would have been hard for him to not to learn of monsters. They were the ones that came to him, the ones that hurt him. Of course he knew what the monsters were, and he knew they were probably still out there. He was the "prey", the one that the predators came to hurt, to kick while he was down. He was nothing, worth less than the dirt under their shoes. The only thing redeeming about him was the use of his body. No one cared about his cries, his pain - he was nothing, and no one would drop to his level to deal with such things. He didn't consider them "monsters" though, which only showed how badly off the child was. They trained him to believe it was his fault, that he deserved everything that had happened to him, which it wasn't - not that he believed anyone who told him that. Of course it was his fault; if he had been better and worth something, he wouldn't have been hurt, he wouldn't have been abandoned. It wasn't their fault - they had to deal with such a pathetic child; how could he blame them for the route they were forced to take? He didn't. He blamed himself - it was his fault for everything. The man asked him more questions, and they weren't yes or no questions, ones that he could just nod his head to. So, he pulled the notebook closer to himself again and carefully penciled his response out. To the first question, the one about Marco, he wrote "He is nice." To say anything more - that he wished he didn't have a roommate, that he just wanted to be left alone for some part of his day - would be rude, and he had to be grateful. Then, to the question of his lessons, he carefully penciled the words "They are okay. I am trying my best to learn fast." The words were relatively simple, compared to the rest of the students around him, but it was the best he could write at his level. words, 376 tags, lucian/reit notes, i'm an awful, awful person. how dare you encourage me. [/style][style=margin-top:2px; font-family:georgia; font-size:25px; color:#ac8bcc; text-transform:lowercase; text-shadow:-1px 0 #333, 0 1px #333, 1px 0 #333, 0 -1px #333; text-align:center;]you know you live to break me[/style]

[style=font-size:10px; font-family:ms gothic;]made by RIVER! of BV, CTL and OTE[/style]

[reit2]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background: url(http://i.imgur.com/PK9zK.png); padding: 5px; width: 400px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; float: left; border: 3px 690202 double;][/style]

[atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; lmargin-left: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 0px;]When darkness comes[/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; color: 690202; font-family: georgia; font-size: 10px; padding: 5px; width: 284px; margin-left: 1px; text-align: justify; margin-top: 3px;border: 3px 690202 double;]Mutism was an interesting thing. Was the boy always mute? Was it physical, or mental? He was curious to know, but at the same time, a certain amount of tact was required for him to ask about them. He read the sentences as they were presented to him, giving each a little nod of acknowledgement. Yes, he could read it - but none of it was particularly interesting or helpful, and so he simply ignored it. "If you're nervous about speaking to me, you needn't be. I only want what's best for you." He responded with a little nod. And he did - in his own, specially twisted way. He was curious what had happened to the boy - and eager to see what could be done about it. "So you can speak freely. Do you want to go sit down?" Better then the hallway for both of them. Lucien wasn't overly picky, after all, but anything he planned to do was probably smarter to do out of the public eye. He was still relatively new to the school, after all. [/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; letter-spacing:0px; margin-left: 1px; margin-top: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold;]You know I'm not far[/style]

[brighty]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:350px; border-right:50px solid #ac8bcc;][style=float:left; border:8px solid #ac8bcc; margin:3px; opacity:0.8;][/style][style=text-align:justify; padding:5px; color:#000; font-family:arial; font-size:11px;]Naoya had known how to speak, once, but not anymore. It was an unfortunate reality that had him repressing the ability. Even if he were to start speaking this very moment, it would be incoherent like a toddler's. He would have to relearn everything - how to create sounds and turn them into syllables, which then would be strung together to make words, and then words to sentences. What so many took for granted would take the boy a long time to relearn - not that he had a good grasp of speaking before he stopped anyways. The man told him not to be nervous of him - but how could Naoya be anything but? This was a stranger, a very tall stranger, who was very much male. He didn't know who the man was, and Naoya preferred not to trust strangers - especially strange men. After being hurt by so many, it was a wonder he could even begin to form a semblance of trust with any older male. Then he told Naoya that he wanted what was best for him - it seemed a lot of people did, these days. It was odd. He still didn't get it. No. No Naoya did not want to go sit down. He wanted to go to his room, get his teddy bear, and struggle through his homework. But, to say no would be rude - and being rude was wrong. Naoya wanted to be right, to be good - so, after a moment of hesitation, Naoya nodded slightly. Yes, we can go sit down. He didn't want to, but he hoped the reluctance was not visible to the older man. words, 281 tags, lucian/reit notes, i'm an awful, awful person. how dare you encourage me. [/style][style=margin-top:2px; font-family:georgia; font-size:25px; color:#ac8bcc; text-transform:lowercase; text-shadow:-1px 0 #333, 0 1px #333, 1px 0 #333, 0 -1px #333; text-align:center;]you know you live to break me[/style]

[style=font-size:10px; font-family:ms gothic;]made by RIVER! of BV, CTL and OTE[/style]

[reit2]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background: url(http://i.imgur.com/PK9zK.png); padding: 5px; width: 400px, bTable][atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; float: left; border: 3px 690202 double;][/style]

[atrb=vAlign,top][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; lmargin-left: 1px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 0px;]When darkness comes[/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; color: 690202; font-family: georgia; font-size: 10px; padding: 5px; width: 284px; margin-left: 1px; text-align: justify; margin-top: 3px;border: 3px 690202 double;]For a while, Lucien wasn't sure if the boy was even going to say yes. What if he said No? It certainly would have made things much, much harder for him. With Naoya saying yes, he basically had free reign, and he'd assumed, by the boys behavior so far, that he'd agree to most things. Children tended to do that, after all. They believed things adults told them, even when they really, really shouldn't have. Lucien was not the sort of figure you wanted your child wandering off with, and yet there Naoya was, nodding in response to his question. Lucien gave him a grin, gesturing over towards a classroom and stepping over, pulling the door open with one hand before gesturing for Naoya to come in. Assuming the boy followed, he'd lightly shut the door. "Take a seat. It shouldn't take too long." He commented, nodding towards one of the desks. How far would he push it today? Reasonably, not that far. You had to go in steps, after all. [/style][style=background-color: #F6F8F9; border: 3px double #690202; width: 294px; color: 690202; text-shadow: #9f9f9f 1px 1px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 34px; font-family: economica; letter-spacing:0px; margin-left: 1px; margin-top: 3px; text-transform: uppercase; font-weight: bold;]You know I'm not far[/style]

[brighty]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:350px; border-right:50px solid #ac8bcc;][style=float:left; border:8px solid #ac8bcc; margin:3px; opacity:0.8;][/style][style=text-align:justify; padding:5px; color:#000; font-family:arial; font-size:11px;]He didn't want to follow the red haired man. He wanted to go the opposite way, to his room, and do homework or cuddle his bear or something besides sit alone in a room with him. He didn't like being alone in closed rooms with males. It was terrifying, the memories it sparked, but he went anyways because he was supposed to. Because he said yes. He followed the red head to the classroom door and entered when he was bid - a good thing, too, because Naoya would have stood outside the door and waited for the man to let him in. He stood uncertainly within the confines of the room, glancing backwards to watch the red head cautiously. Even so, he jumped slightly when the door shut, effectively cutting the two of them off from the rest of the school. He didn't know what to expect, and he was quite afraid because of it. Then the man told him to sit and made a gesture towards one of the desks, so Naoya carefully crossed over to the object and took a seat, letting his backpack sit on the floor at his seat. How long would this take? How soon could he escape? The man said it wouldn't take long, but what if it did? Still, all he could do was wait for the older man to speak and let him know what to do. So, Naoya looked towards the man, wondering what was in store. words, 250 tags, lucian/reit notes, i'm an awful, awful person. how dare you encourage me. [/style][style=margin-top:2px; font-family:georgia; font-size:25px; color:#ac8bcc; text-transform:lowercase; text-shadow:-1px 0 #333, 0 1px #333, 1px 0 #333, 0 -1px #333; text-align:center;]you know you live to break me[/style]

[style=font-size:10px; font-family:ms gothic;]made by RIVER! of BV, CTL and OTE[/style]