right on back to you

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:350px; border-right:50px solid #ac8bcc;][style=float:left; border:8px solid #ac8bcc; margin:3px; opacity:0.8;][/style][style=text-align:justify; padding:5px; color:#000; font-family:arial; font-size:11px;] Naoya had been estranged from the world for thirteen years, locked away as a child prostitute with no hope for escape; that the ring he'd belonged to was broken up was just luck for him. He didn't know how to survive in the real world - he couldn't read or write, while he understood the spoken language he wasn't able to bring himself to speak, he didn't understand social graces in the least, and the list could just go on. He was a broken child, one that had been through more in his life than most adults, and he wanted to just stop. But he couldn't - his father wanted him to learn, to be at the academy with him, to get better. That was the only reason he was still here - his father's will. That was what brought him to the near-empty classroom after all the classes had ended. His father was helping him catch up - his writing left something to be desired, even after a year of practice, and other basic skills were poor as well. He didn't understand any of the homework - and his father wanted him to pass. So, they slaved over the homework together, Naoya communicating mainly through nods and head shakes, occasionally resorting to the written word if he had to ask something. It wasn't what he'd have liked - his father was a teacher and a writer, and he had things he had to do that were more important than help him, but he came because it was his father's will. He knocked quietly on the door frame - the door was ajar, but he didn't cross the threshold - and waited to be permitted to enter the room. During class times the areas were public - everyone could come in and leave as they pleased for the most part - but it wasn't class time. This was private time, when the teachers graded their papers and got their things ready for the next day and when students did their homework and got into mischief. He knocked whenever he went somewhere that might be considered private, not his. He even knocked to be allowed entry to his own dorm - it wasn't his place to disturb his dorm mate. He could always sleep elsewhere if the dorm mate got fed up with him and denied him entry. So, with eyes fixed to the floor, he waited for his father's voice to let him in. words, 414 tags, uchida/cuppy notes, ohai daddykins. [/style][style=margin-top:2px; font-family:georgia; font-size:25px; color:#ac8bcc; text-transform:lowercase; text-shadow:-1px 0 #333, 0 1px #333, 1px 0 #333, 0 -1px #333; text-align:center;]i can't live without you[/style]

[style=font-size:10px; font-family:ms gothic;]made by RIVER! of BV, CTL and OTE[/style]

[yuki uchida]

[atrb=valign, top][style=border-left:4px solid #993333; font-size:10px; line-height:13px; padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; text-transform:lowercase; padding-right:8px;]He would never say that he was ready to give up. Ever since he had found him, he wanted to give him all he could. He wanted to make him happy, make him feel normal, help him improve, and give him everything he had lacked from his mother, and everyone else in the child's life. But it'd been a year since then.. and the child didn't seem any better. Uchida was waiting for the night that he had to wake up to the call that his child was in the hospital, or, very possibly, the morgue. Every time he saw him, he wondered how many new cuts he had on his wrists, or wondered if he was getting trouble from the other kids. He wanted to know if he dreamed okay, if he was sleeping well, if he needed anything. But there was no use in asking, was there? He already knew the answers that he would receive. It hurt to see him, but it hurt more not to have him in sight. He wanted to try to see how well he worked in the school, so he could have him close.. He wanted him at home, too, but to get a pass on that, he'd need a psychological evaluation, he was sure. And a shrink.. meant he was worth nothing. He was being selfish.. Uchida looked back down at the papers on his desk before he heard a soft knock at his open door. He looked up, nearly expecting that idiot boy with his camera, before he noted that, one, he was supposed to see Naoya today, and two.. that brat didn't knock. A slight smile tinted his normally downward lips. "You can come in, Naoya." He sat up a bit straighter. As wary as he was of the future, he supposed he needed to enjoy the moments he had.. before he had nothing.[/style] [STYLE=font-size:10px; padding-left: 12px; font-weight: bold]words: 315 tags: naoya notes: :c credit: template made by oxymoron! of btn[/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=valign, top][atrb=style, width:400px, bTable][style=text-align:center;width:100px; font-family:courier new; font-size:10px; line-height:13px; border: 2px #993333 solid; width: 100px; height: 100px;][/style]

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:350px; border-right:50px solid #ac8bcc;][style=float:left; border:8px solid #ac8bcc; margin:3px; opacity:0.8;][/style][style=text-align:justify; padding:5px; color:#000; font-family:arial; font-size:11px;] He didn't know what his father thought. He believed it was something bad, along the lines of disappointment and punishment - because most every other adult only had that on their mind. He was just waiting for them to snap, to realize that he was, in fact, bad and in need of punishment. Then... then he could go. He could do what he wanted, for the longest time. But his father had yet to turn; it had been a year, and the man had expressed his want for Naoya to stay. He never raised a hand to him, and he never punished the boy. That was why he was still around. Because he was told to stay - and he wasn't as unhappy as he was before. Yes, he was still unhappy. He was terrified and he didn't want to be here, in this place. He didn't like sharing a room with a strange male or the memories that were locked away in his mind, that revealed themselves in his nightmares. He missed his twin dreadfully, and wished he could join him, wherever that might be. But he wasn't having sex with people, he wasn't hurt, and he was getting food and education. That was something, right? Sometimes, he was - briefly - glad to not be so hungry anymore, to be away from that place of his first life. But then he'd feel guilty - his brother didn't get to be here with him - and then sad - for the loss. He was unhappy, sure, but compared to what he felt before, it was amazing. His father called him into the room, and he entered with less trepidation than he would other people. He'd spent a year with the man - he felt more comfortable around the man, yes, but he was still terrified. How could he become relaxed or completely comfortable when he knew that one day this man, his father, would turn his back on Naoya again? The pain from that would be great, he knew that. He'd lost his brother already - he couldn't lose another person like that. He couldn't let anyone close, let anyone near him like that again - because they would all leave him and hurt him, and that betrayal would make the pain even greater. Naoya stopped just before the desk, standing quietly as always, already slipping the bag from his shoulders. He had to show the man what he had to do for homework today - it wasn't much, but it would still take a good deal of time. It was math, and the little numbers didn't make any sense to the boy; add letters to the mix and it was just that much more confusing. There was a number of problems on the two pages of paper that the teacher had handed out, all of which Naoya had no idea how to successfully solve. He could get a step here and there, but getting the correct answer was nearly impossible - he was learning algebra when he hadn't even learned all of the basics yet. words, 524 tags, uchida/cuppy notes, ohai daddykins. [/style][style=margin-top:2px; font-family:georgia; font-size:25px; color:#ac8bcc; text-transform:lowercase; text-shadow:-1px 0 #333, 0 1px #333, 1px 0 #333, 0 -1px #333; text-align:center;]i can't live without you[/style]

[style=font-size:10px; font-family:ms gothic;]made by RIVER! of BV, CTL and OTE[/style]

[yuki uchida]

[atrb=valign, top][style=border-left:4px solid #993333; font-size:10px; line-height:13px; padding-left:8px; text-align:justify; text-transform:lowercase; padding-right:8px;]just speak... He just wanted him to talk to him. It would mean everything if he just spoke to him, just a word.. just one word, and he would be so happy.. just.. just one word. He could speak. He knew he could. So.. why didn't he speak to him..? For a while, he just thought it was shock from the situation, and it would fade, but it hadn't. It had been a year, and he hadn't said one word to him. He came into the room quietly, and stood in front of the desk, just as quietly, and he said nothing as he shifted the bag from his small shoulders... But Uchida was nothing if not very careful. He didn't let any sadness creep into his expression. He kept his smile.. Naoya needed smiles, didn't he? It hurt. If he could think of a better place the boy could go, someone that Naoya trusted, or at least.. didn't fear as much as others, then he could just.. go away without complication. Naoya needed better than what he could offer. He didn't have anything to offer. He thought he did.. A year ago, he thought he could be so good for him.. He thought he could be so much better. He was better, of course.. He was better, but.. not good. Who was he kidding..? He was as useless as he ever was, and always would be.. look at him... He just.. he just wanted.... "Just put the papers on my desk and pull up a chair, okay?" He looked at him. Answer.. please, answer. "So you can sit while we work.." Just answer... But Uchida wasn't a fool. He knew he shouldn't put so much into an answer.. That the boy felt comfortable enough to be so close with him in an otherwise empty room was more than enough progress, right? Unless he was just playing like he didn't mind.. like he was comfortable.. He.. he was comfortable, right? He wasn't scared of him, was he? Of.. of course not... He was building up useless hope on something he knew.. wasn't true. He could see it with Naoya. No matter how hard he tried, or for how long, it wouldn't change. There would always be fear. There would always be silence.[/style] [STYLE=font-size:10px; padding-left: 12px; font-weight: bold]words: 382 tags: naoya notes: :ccc credit: template made by oxymoron! of btn[/style]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=valign, top][atrb=style, width:400px, bTable][style=text-align:center;width:100px; font-family:courier new; font-size:10px; line-height:13px; border: 2px #993333 solid; width: 100px; height: 100px;][/style]

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[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,bTable][atrb=style, width:350px; border-right:50px solid #ac8bcc;][style=float:left; border:8px solid #ac8bcc; margin:3px; opacity:0.8;][/style][style=text-align:justify; padding:5px; color:#000; font-family:arial; font-size:11px;]Naoya knew that his father wanted him to speak - everyone did - but he didn't know how much the man was resting on such an action. Perhaps if he did, Naoya would be able to drop his guard and speak, relax - but then again, he probably wouldn't believe it. This wasn't to say that he thought his father was a liar (all of the time), but no one wanted him that much, needed him to do something so innocuous as speaking as much as his father did. Naoya didn't know how much it hurt his father, his continued silence - he thought the man was fine, that he didn't mind. Surely the man didn't say anything about it, nor did he give any external sign that it mattered, so Naoya didn't think it was bad. If Naoya could see what his father was thinking, that he would send him elsewhere if there was someplace better, it would have made him that much more uncomfortable. This was the longest time he'd been with anyone, outside of his first life of course, and he didn't want to be uprooted again. He was more comfortable here, even if it didn't appear that way. Yes, there was the wariness, but that was built upon years of fear. It had been a year now, with no pain and no... other things... and that helped. Naoya could be closer to Uchida - not touching, mind - but closer than he could be with anyone else. He could be alone and not be out of his mind with terror. Yes, the fear was there still, but not all consuming as it was with every other person. His father gave him direction, and he nodded - Yes, Father - and carefully set the papers down on the desk before the older man, making sure they didn't mess up any of his other papers. Then he turned and moved to the edge of the room where an extra was placed - the rest were attached to their respective desks - and carefully carried it back to the desk. The chair was light, but to a child who'd never carried any kind of weight in his life, it was heavy enough. The task finished, he sat down in it and waited expectantly on his father. It wasn't like he could do the math himself. words, 400 tags, uchida/cuppy notes, ohai daddykins. [/style][style=margin-top:2px; font-family:georgia; font-size:25px; color:#ac8bcc; text-transform:lowercase; text-shadow:-1px 0 #333, 0 1px #333, 1px 0 #333, 0 -1px #333; text-align:center;]i can't live without you[/style]

[style=font-size:10px; font-family:ms gothic;]made by RIVER! of BV, CTL and OTE[/style]